ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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