I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
