I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
