a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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