who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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