he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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