Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
