Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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