I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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