she woke up with a sticky ear
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
