I need help removing her.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He shit in the fireplace
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
