How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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