Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
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So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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