Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
