ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
