My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
