Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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