So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
