You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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