so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize