If i could tip my vagina, i would.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
