This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
