I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
