I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im holly from the hills drunk
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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