She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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