I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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