you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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