So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
