Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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