now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
