he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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