I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize