Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
