If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
