There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
