Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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