SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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