Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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