Swine flu. Run for my life!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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