turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
