I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
