I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
