hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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