I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sponge bath it is.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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