You made me cry and you don't even care
Already got asked if we're dating
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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