and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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