i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize