So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
