I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
