Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
