Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
