babies were throwing up all over the place
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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