The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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