She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize