He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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