First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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