you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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