White coat. Heels.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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