Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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