I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
